Title: Beyond Order – 12 More Rules for Life

Author: Jordan Peterson

Pages: 375

Hi all,

Another month has already passed us by and already so much has happened.

After I watched a few lectures on YouTube from Jordan Peterson I was intrigued by what he had to teach, and so I wanted to learn a bit more from his books. I started off with 12 Rules for Life (004-2021) and learned so much that I realized that I needed to change a few things in my life.

Although I don’t remember all the rules, less even which rule number was given for a rule that that I did remember, it was the principle/message that stuck with me. As a child you would learn to follow rules and abide them, because that is what society ‘expects’ of you.

In this book, he stresses that as much as it is important to live with Order, we cannot let it envelope our lives and completely cut ourselves off from being confronted from Chaos. We need to get ourselves to face off against some Chaos because it is healthy for our mental well-being in the long-term.

One example that springs to mind is the story of Buddha. He was born a prince and was only shown the good things in life. All things that were bad or hidden away from him. Thus, he grew up only knowing good things to exist, and knew nothing of suffering. When he had his birthday he wanted to go to town and see the people. His father had arranged the trip, but also arranged to all things reflecting pain and suffering should be swept away from the streets. Thus, his journey began through the streets. However, it came to be that he came across some individuals that had illness/pain/other, which astonished him that he left the parade and found the other side of goodness: suffering and pain amongst the people. This must have been a true shock to him, and he ended up leaving the palace and living without any belongings, trying to attain a higher level of something…(please forgive me, but I don’t know the story further from here).

The point is, when we try and isolate ourselves from Chaos, we will be hit much harder and suffer much greater than had we lived alongside it. This is to say we need to live with it, knowing that it is there and that we can overcome it should it decide to disrupt us.

That is the point of the second book, knowing that getting things in Order is necessary for us, but that we also need to be in contact with Chaos to be in a much healthier mental state.

The book divides the next twelve rules in as follows:

Rule I – Do not carelessly denigrate social institutions and creative achievements

You have molded your personality over the years but you come to realize that you don’t fit in anywhere so you don’t attend or participate in events. Thus you turn away from opportunities that lurk just outside your circle of comfort. Because we are social creatures we need that interaction with others so you long for it, but are simultaneously annoyed that you don’t fit in anywhere. So you blame those social institutions and events.

You should rather decide to take a step outside of your comfort circle and explore some new things. Attend some events, just to get out there and see what is new in the world around you. Thus, instead of blaming the world around you for feeling unwelcome, decide to explore more outside of your comfort zone because we need that.

Rule II – Imagine who you could be, and then aim single-mindedly at that

You should not confine yourself to where you are at the moment. You should reflect on the matters and values that are important in your life and then determine where it is you wish to end up in. When you have identified where that would be, do everything you can to reach that goal. Face those hurdles, confront the status quo and overcome those struggles, but don’t lose sight of why you are doing what you are doing.

You should do what is of value to you.

Rule III – Do not hide unwanted things in the fog

There are some things in our life that we are confronted with, which we do not wish to deal with, so we put it aside and hope that solves the problem. Sometimes it may, but often it doesn’t. It mostly makes things only much worse.

Whether it be the death of someone, problems at work, problems in your marriage or matters of discomfort elsewhere, we will all experience things we would not wish to deal with at some point in our lives. The best way to approach it is head on. Face it, deal with it and get it out of the way so it doesn’t lurk in the background of your mind, always creeping a little attention every now and then.

By confronting it you acknowledge that something like this has now happened to you, and you will deal with it appropriately so it doesn’t harm you harsher in the future. Whether confrontation be in the form of having a serious talk, or taking some time to mourn, or other we need to allow ourselves to deal with those events properly.

Rule IV – Notice that opportunity lurks where responsibility has been abdicated

If you wish to advance in life then you cannot always stick to the status quo script that was laid down by all generations before you. If you see an opportunity has presented itself where you believe you could take on that responsibility, then you should have a go at it.

If we follow the status quo then the next person to receive the promotion to a more senior role would be the one that has worked there the longest or is the highest ranked at present in your team. However, every job is not for everyone. Some people are satisfied with what they are paid for doing, while others are not and would wish for some greater responsibility.

Thus, when someone has vacated their role, which requires one to take on a higher degree of responsibility, and that is something that you have been wishing for, then present yourself as a viable candidate.

We are all responsible for our own careers and where they are heading towards.

Rule V – Do not do what you hate

If you are doing something that is eating away at you internally it will do so every day you come back to work there. Not only that, you feel that you are doing something that doesn’t fully align with the values you have set for yourselves. If this is the case, then you will be unhappy. Unhappy to go to work, do the work and overall be unhappy when you come home.

Thus, to get the best out of what you want in life, it is in your best interest to find something that aligns with your values, something for which you would be willing to work some extra hours if it was required, because you would still be motivated and more productive than were you in an unsuitable environment.

Rule VI – Abandon ideology

Mostly ideologies are set out and introduced by people that wish to gain more themselves because they are unhappy and disgruntled with where they are right now in society. However, they cannot bring about their desired change of such significant size on their own. Thus, they plead their case for a better life to other people who wish also for a life better than they have it now. The instigator lets it sound so simple why their lives are not great and gives them a scapegoat for this problem.

Unfortunately, this simple answer is not quite true. There are many differently variables why someone’s life is not great, and not one person/group of persons is mostly the reason for this unhappy state. Yet, to attract an audience they make it so simple in order to stir them on to ignite the spark that will drive them to bring about change. And when they have done so the individual/s who initially brought forth the crowd will stand to lead them according to the ideology he has offered them.

Such persons can be dangerous and therefore you should rather consider whether the change they suggested in the first place is possible and whether it would really be that simple. We all desire Order in our lives, yet, when our present Order is corrupted then some change may be necessary. Change does not come about without the absence of Chaos. Eventually we all strive for some new Order amidst the newly created Chaos, which is the order that these ideologists promise.

You need to think for yourself whether what they promise is true or whether their ideology is flawed and potentially more harmful than the Order that is currently in place.

Do not trust anyone to know what is best for you. Hear them out but think for yourself. Do not follow others blindly.

Rule VII – Work as hard as you possibly can on at least one thing and see what happens

Rule VIII – Try to make one room in your home as beautiful as possible

“What makes someone reach beyond the boundaries of experience to face the unknown? As children we question the world around us. We learn, we accept. And gradually we lose our capacity for wonder. But some do not. Explorers; seekers of truth. It is these pioneers who define the future of mankind.” — Rise of the Tomb Raider (video game).

We know that some people have a greater skill with the one side of the brain. Work better with numbers, and other matters that requires such logarithmic thinking. Others, in contrast, have a greater skill with the other side of their brain, and are more inclined for the art.

We all gain by living in a world where Order is in place, which order is created by those logarithmic people. Even the artistic people benefit from this life. Yet, they frequently venture to the peripheries of these borders. They try to create new things just outside the border and see whether it is something the current world enjoys. If not, then society discards it and it is forgotten. Yet sometimes the artists create something that catches the eye of the beholders. Something that was always there, but was overlooked by others because it was not within their orderly life.

Creativity is important in our rigid and structured lives because it allows us to appreciate the other things that are there in the world which we often overlook. Therefore it is suggested that we make one room in our homes as pretty as we can so we can enjoy the beauty that the world has to offer us.

Rule IX – If old memories still upset you, write them down carefully and completely

We have all suffered somewhat sometime in our lives. Some have had to suffer more than others. However, when we have suffered we often carry that memory with us for a long time. Some carry a memory so deeply that it causes them not to live much more actively and adventurously than they did before. Their past holds them back much greater than it does others.

This doesn’t mean they are bad people, it just means that they have been hit really really hard. Right to the core. Sometimes that memory haunts them for ever that it will rule their life.

One thing you can do is to write down all the memories that are causing you to suffer as you are and then try to understand why they make the way you feel. Try and understand why the event happened. Then, you can see whether you can somehow overcome this fear to be stronger than the way it makes you feel. This is to encourage you to see that you can overpower whatever has caused this tragedy in your life.

And then maybe, just maybe, you will be able to stand up and look to the future and the opportunities it holds for you. The memory will always be a part of you, but you won’t let it control you for ever. You have shown that you are stronger than it.

Rule X – Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationship

It takes much work to have a relationship with another person really work out. It is important to understand that there will be moments of conflict since you are two differently personalities with some varying interests.

However, you have found yourselves and decided that you wanted to spend your lives together. You have decided to adjust your lifestyles in order for you to live with someone else. You wish to go out together, see the world together and maybe start a family. But to keep the fire going you need to put in the work make it happen.

Just because you have exchanged rings and spoken vows doesn’t mean you can now relax your lifestyle and not put in the work for the new lifestyle that you wanted to adapt to. You need to work constantly to keep the fire burning in the relationship.

Someone else has decided to spend their time with you. You, with your own faults and flaws that would not have considered yourself to be worthy of someone else’s love because of those flaws. Yet someone has decided to spend time (the most precious commodity in the world) with you, be in your company, and undertake adventures together.

Do not take something like that for granted.

Rule XI – Do not allow yourself to become resentful, deceitful or arrogant

Rule XII – Be grateful in spite of your suffering

On a personal note, I learnt from the first book that it is important to have and create order in your life. It sets you down and lets you know that you are not merely drifting in life, but that you can get somewhere you wish to go if you plan accordingly. Yet, the second book has stressed that I cannot achieve the best from my life without treading into the outside world. Interaction with the outside world is needed for a healthy mind, which has motivated me to try and get out more and interact with others at every opportunity that presented itself. Though I haven’t done much of it yet, I feel some change.

Spending some time in your own company is good, but spending too much time in your own company is not too healthy (for myself at least) because the social interaction make the time spent in the day much more satisfying and refreshing.

Summary:

Great book that teaches of the importance of confronting the world outside of your comfort zone in the midst of the Order that you have created for yourself. It is written as though your father were giving you a lesson for life, you have gathered some experience already, and can then reflect on the trueness of the lesson. The book will receive a rating of 4.85/5.

All the best! 🙂